Hour by hour

Well, today makes 13 days of sobriety and it has felt like 13 years! Haha. I know it's all done one day at a time, but it's been more like one hour at a time for me so far. Although I'm motivated, I'm not going to be able to do this out of motivated conviction. Tomorrow is a pretty big day for my journey and I can already feel my brain figuring out ways to manipulate things tomorrow. The sad thing is that I have nothing to really gain by not being honest with these people. Why would I risk any of this for no gain? I don't feel it's about ego, how could it be? I'm sober and alive right now and I want this emptiness and isolation to be overwith. God, please let these people see through my manipulation and give me the courage to just be honest about everything. I'm really missing my family and wish we were all together right now.